Stoking the Fire: Whats your Dharma? ;-)
“The fire reminds me that dharma isn't always about grand gestures or a life-altering calling. It's about sustaining ourselves and those around us in small, meaningful ways. This makes me wonder: how often do we overlook our dharma because we expect it to be extraordinary?”
Notes from my journal and how this post began ~ Gem M
The crisp chill of January lingers in the air as I wrap my cardigan tightly around my shoulders, tucking my arms in to hold onto my warmth. Through the misted panes of glass, I see the world outside—still, silent, and frosted white. Inside, the warmth is fragile, caught between double glazing and the sub-zero freeze gripping northeast Scotland.
The oil tank is almost empty, so the heating can only be on briefly. However, the fire is stoked, and there is plenty of wood for at least the next day or two while these frosty conditions last. The quiet is immense and breathtaking as I head outside to collect more wood.
As I potter, I find myself reflecting on the time I longed for this—the peace and remoteness of living far from the city. A smile crosses my face as I brace myself for the cold. I step outside, drawing in the icy air deep into my lungs and holding it there for just a moment. Then, as the warmth of my breath meets the cold, a plume of moisture escapes into the crisp air, and I feel deeply grateful for this path I am on; even though it might not seem much from the outside looking in; the past years have been full of immense highs and lows, but right now, in this moment, I am steady in myself and reminded of the delicate dance of emotions that course through our minds and bodies and just how much these can, and often do shape our lives — one minute driving us forward with hope and optimism, and the next pushing us down into a barrel of despair.
Reflecting on my journey, I remember a close friend from a few years ago, during a particularly low point in my life, who kept telling me that it was all about finding our true nature and path. At the time, I have to admit, I baulked. I thought I had already found it —I'd been teaching and practising yoga for over 15 years, and it truly felt like teaching was my path. So why did I feel so far away from this so-called true path? I remember being in a Mysore class a few weeks before we all went into lockdown back in 2020, and I felt this deep sense of disconnect, in truth it had been building up in me for a while, but at that moment, I realised I needed to reevaluate my life, how I was spending my time (energy) and the direction I was going in.
In yoga philosophy, there's a concept called dharma; one aspect of dharma is Svadharma —our personal dharma; the other is called Sanatana dharma or universal dharma. The two, of course, are interconnected; both offer us guiding principles to help us steer the course of our lives with a sense of purpose and meaning. Svadharma is our unique set of responsibilities and choices that align with who we are, making it deeply personal and unique to us. While Sanatana dharma is about upholding moral and ethical codes regardless of our individual circumstances.
In traditional Sanskrit the word "dharma" originates from the Sanskrit root धृ (dhṛ), which means धृ (dhṛ): To hold or sustain.
म (ma): Indicates the instrument or result of holding or sustaining.
धर्म (dharma) is "that which holds or sustains the essential nature of existence.”
(That which sustains ourselves and the world around us.)
But finding a sense of purpose can feel almost impossible when we're in the depths of something heavy and weighted. The idea of 'following our dharma', 'finding our true nature', and 'our true path'—something we often hear or read about or which is bandied about on instagram—can feel abstract and remote, and I remember feeling just immense frustration. What does it actually mean to find your true nature? Is dharma a life course mapped out by some external divine being before we've even taken our first breath? Can someone else—perhaps a teacher—show us our dharma or help us uncover our true nature? Or is dharma something else entirely: life itself, moving and flowing through us, shaping our actions and choices, and nudging us—often in the most subtle ways—down one path or another?
I want to explore these ideas not because I am a great yoga scholar but because yoga is a living experience, and I've been living it for some time now. I couldn't help but feel at that time that I had somehow gone very wrong on my own path. I don't believe for a moment that yoga is solely about the modern Western focus on bending our bodies into various (and often awkward) shapes as a means to escape the chaos of our minds. Yet, I realised that this had become the core of my practice. I was deep into the third series of Ashtanga Yoga, pushing my body to its limits while my mind felt increasingly out of balance. Yoga had become about what I could physically achieve, and I placed immense pressure on myself to maintain that. The truth was, I was exhausted—both physically and mentally—and I found myself feeling disenchanted with Ashtanga, questioning why I was clinging so tightly to this way of practising. When we become caught up like this with the physical yoga practice, it can overshadow yoga's deeper philosophical and spiritual aspects.
As I stack the wood and feel the weight of each log in my hands, I realise that this simple act—keeping the fire going—is a kind of dharma. It's not grand or mystical, but it's a duty, a choice I make to sustain warmth and life in this moment. The fire reminds me that dharma isn't always about grand gestures or a life-altering calling. It's about sustaining ourselves and those around us in small, meaningful ways. Each log I place on the fire feels like a quiet commitment to warmth, life, and presence. Perhaps dharma is this—a series of choices that keep the flame alive. Perhaps dharma isn't always some profound calling; perhaps it's found in the small, steady acts of living—those moments when we align with what needs to be done, our responsibilities and commitments but guided by the rhythm of life itself.
This makes me wonder: how often do we overlook our dharma because we expect it to be extraordinary? In yoga, we're often told to 'follow our true path,' but maybe the path isn't something we find; maybe it's something we create with each step we take. Perhaps it's found in the simplest of acts that help sustain ourselves and the world around us. Perhaps it can be found in how we breathe into the challenges that life throws our way, staying present even when the icy winds blow hard or we feel disenchanted with the circumstances we have chosen.
These are my reflections on dharma so far, and it is the beginning of a much deeper exploration, not just about abstract philosophical ideas found in yoga but about how we can pull these concepts and ideas and live them day to day. Until then, I'd love to hear your thoughts—what does dharma mean to you? Have you ever felt like you were following your path, only to realise something felt out of balance? How did you navigate that? When you hear the phrase "finding your true nature," what comes to mind?
I look forward to hearing your thoughts and replies and will write to you again next Sunday, in the meantime here is a wee 11 minute meditation for you —I hope you enjoy :-)
Dharma Meditation
Big love,
Gem xoxo